Meetings

First Mondays

General meetings are held on the first Monday of each month at 7:00 p.m. There is no charge to attend. Read about what you should expect when you attend.

Where: 2740 25th St SE, Salem, Oregon
Salem Fire Department Training Center
ADA accessible, lots of parking
Watch for our TCF meeting sign board in front.

When: 7:00 p.m.

Facilitators:Jean Gary (541) 418-1149 and Janie Erickson (503) 931-1748.

Second Monday Meeting

TCF general meeting.

Call Janie at (503) 931-1748 or Linda at (541) 367-7916 for more information.

Third Monday Meeting

General meeting with emphasis on Adult Child Sudden Death.

On the third Monday of each month at 7:00 p.m. There is no charge to attend.

Where: 2740 25th St SE, Salem, Oregon
Salem Fire Department Training Center
ADA accessible, lots of parking
Watch for our TCF meeting sign board in front.

When: 7:00 p.m.

Contact: Janie, facilitator, (503) 931-1748

Bi-Monthly Newsletter

Salem TCF publishes a newsletter for our members with information about our group, shared poems, thoughts, and memories.

• Free to bereaved family members in Marion County. (A yearly donation of $10 to continue receiving the newsletter would be appreciated.)
• For professionals or out of area subscribers a $10 donation would be appreciated.

What to Expect When You Attend

Our monthly meetings are attended by as few as 5 or as many as 30. They are conducted by a trained facilitator who has also lost a child and is in a place in their grief that they are able to lead the meetings. Sometimes, especially if the group is large, we break into smaller groups according to similar losses, such as adult traumatic or sudden death, or stillborn/miscarriage loss. We try to be sensitive to the needs of those who attend and adjust accordingly. Each person in attendance has the option of sharing their story or not. Sometimes, just being in a meeting and hearing that you are not alone is enough to help us through the day.

Sharing with others is the very heart of TCF. Our meetings are havens where members feel free to talk about their children who have died; the emotions they are going through; the painful, thoughtless comments that may have been made to them; their feelings of sadness, guilt, or anger—subjects no one else wants to hear them talk about. They discuss the progress they are making and ways of coping that have been helpful for them.

With the guidance and reassurance of members who are further along in their grief journey, gradually—sometimes over a period of many months or several years—members learn how to survive what has happened, find a "new normal," and begin to rebuild their lives.

The Compassionate Friends is not a therapy group, nor are our meetings "therapy" sessions. Yet healing is slowly and gently promoted as families gain insight and understanding. At chapter meetings members learn they are not alone in facing this terrible tragedy—others have faced the isolation and desperation the loss of a child can bring.

Families that feel they are coping effectively with their loss, as well as those discouraged by a lack of progress, find attending meetings to be helpful. While there are no instant solutions, no easy answers, and no timetable for grieving, there is comfort in the sense of direction found through knowledge and understanding of the grief experience. Bereaved families can find hope, healing, and the will to survive.

"You know you're at a TCF meeting when...

• You stop feeling ill-at-ease twenty minutes after you arrive, because everyone you meet is an instant friend.
• The people you encounter want to hear more about your deceased child, instead of less.
• You can strike up a conversation with anyone and never have to mention the weather.
• No one cares if you cry, or how much.
• Group discussions provide opportunities for asking the questions that have been bothering you, or simply telling what's in your heart and mind.
• No one cares what you do for a living, what kind of car you drive, or how much money you make, because none of these things matter.
• You realize your life will get better, because you're surrounded by women and men whose lives prove that bereaved parents can learn to laugh and love and live again."

(Author unknown, TCF Burleson, Texas.)

The Compassionate Friends Credo... what we believe.